On Good Advice

The author of this book, Craig, and I have a strange background.

In January, I began attending my father’s men’s ministry at a local church because the topic of discussion was other religions, and I was curious how the church approached it and I wanted to learn what other people have to say. While there, the pastor had a sign-up sheet for a coffee ministry, which was meant to put men in contact with one another to meet each month and grow spiritually. I was placed with Craig, who is not a regular attendee at the church, but participates in book discussions there.

After meeting at a local café and opening with a bit of small-talk, we hit it off and bonded over some heterodox views that don’t seem to be shared by many other people—whether at the church or in the local community. We meet once per month to catch up, check on one another, and have stimulating discussions.

Last month, Craig mentioned to me that he had written a book, which was based on short, weekly pieces of advice for the students at the middle school at which he worked. He showed me a copy of it and asked if I’d like to read it. Naturally, I said, “Of course!” and brought it home with me.

I made my way through the book slowly, a few sections at a time, usually no more than four or five, each of which are a page or two long, and I was really impressed. Perhaps the most satisfying thing is that I could see Craig saying exactly what was written in my mind’s eye. It had been published some 21 years ago, but he is still recognizably the same person (and I’m someone who seriously questions whether people ever remain consistent over time!). In fact, many of the references he makes today are the same he was relying on at the time of his writing. Just today, he asked me if I had heard the story of the wealthy millionaire who met the Mexican fisherman. My answer was now, “Yes! It’s right here!”

The book, in some ways, is a sort of diary. Craig is a lot like me, in that he is really bad at taking other people’s advice. If someone gives us advice, there is no certainty at all that we’ll follow it. On the contrary, people like us tend to do things our own way, until we learn some lesson that teaches us why the advice existed in the first place. This book is a collection of experiences and reflections that walk us through some of his insights through an experiential lens.

I think one downside of this book is that those who most need Craig’s advice are those who are least likely to take it (although they would do well to write their own collection of Good Advice!). But, I think this problem is mitigated by the fact that his text is not a set of instructions that tell people what to do and not to do. Instead, his choice of stories illustrates why, which is what I think separates good good advice from bad good advice. If someone were to tell me, “Put your coat on in winter,” there’s no guarantee that I’ll listen to them. After all, I was the kid who wore shorts when it was 18 degrees outside. However, once I froze, I learned my lesson. This text is, then, a way for readers to vicariously experience these things for themselves.

I think that Craig’s most willing readers will be those who have had similar experiences to him: they’ll feel recognized and laugh to themselves, “Oh! Someone else went through that, too? I thought I was the only one.” This was precisely what I did as I read through the book, and I found it a beneficial read as a result.